Breakfast at Tiffane's

Quarter of a Century...

2010-07-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

So...yeah. I am going to be 25 in a mere two weeks. It's crazy to type! :)And although after this year I'm prone to more "mature" things such as

- comfortable shoes, which means they have a 2 inch rubber sole and medicated in-step...but the beads on top are really cute. Not an excuse.

- stupid "national best friends week" forwards. Although I don't think you start sending those til 30+.

- Pleated pants...ugghh...I think those only come after babies.

- circling a new age group on church visitor's cards. Goodbye 18-24!!

I will try to maintain some youthful-ness. Unfortunately, my wish lists equal that of a 75 year old already. I've always been practical. socks...duck tape...a water filter. Give me things I can use. Not a precious moments figurine. Really? I've been told this makes it difficult to buy gifts for me. So I've compiled the following list for guidance. :)

(In no particular order)
1. Quarters. Since moving to my new complex, I use their laundry room. There have been some moments of desperation where I trade co-workers my 2 dimes and a nickel. EVERY QUARTER MATTERS.

2. An electric toothbrush.

3. Pretty Rain Boots. They are cute and I live on the (oil-tainted) gulf. And hurricane season started last month.

4. Flowers at work...ok. This is not the most practical, but it is the COOLEST thing to get called down to reception for flowers. And it's one of those dreams every girl wants but feels weird asking for. Prideful? Maybe. Worth it? Yes.

5. Clue. Yes, the board game. I already own the brilliant movie. I ask for this EVERY year. It is literally 15 dollars at Wal Mart. I want the original but I will also (obviously) accept The Office version.

6. A massage. Writing 3 grants, driving an hour to church to deal with church people as a worship leader, my apartment flooding, my boyfriend being miles and miles away, these are all valid reasons for a massage.

7. That new Trip Lee fire. OR Hillsong's Faith+Hope+Love. You can't really call Hillsong "fire". And if you don't know ebonics, none of this will make sense.

8. Anything home-made. It takes effort. One of the most priceless gifts.

9. Gift Certificates to: Hobby Lobby, Target, Pier 1 or Chick Fil A.

10. Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff. I am a HUGE fan of his blog and can't wait to read the book. Although I have waited this long so...I guess that's not completely true. I am capable of waiting. I just don't want to anymore.

Hopefully this is helpful. If not, I will post bad gift ideas later on in the week.

Words of Affirmation...

2010-07-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

If you've taken the 5 love languages quiz...or if you struggle with insecurity...or if you've ever had a small child. You know the value of words of affirmation. To some of us it isn't just enough to know we're pretty, loved, a good cook, a great provider, a hard worker...we need to hear it. and YES there is a difference. I am not like anyone else I know. Seriously. The friends i have don't love me because I'm just like them, but they value me because I am who I am (at least I'd like to think so - insecurity talking). So being affirmed or validated is very important to me. Otherwise I would think I was completely crazy versus partly crazy. So in an effort to soothe myself, and maybe some of you. Here are some quirks I have that at least one other person has agreed to owning as well.

1. Not buying used furniture with porous fabric. (A lot of my quirks are related to cleanliness). But you just don't know what soaks into peoples couches...

2. Thinking LL Cool J is ridiculous. First of all, his rapping sucks. Second he's not that good of an actor - licking your lips between lines doesn't upgrade your talent. Thirdly, who has the gull to name themselves "Ladies Love Cool J"??? Boo!

3. Enjoying fries in a frosty. Maybe it's a girl thing. Mother nature makes us crave sweet & salty combos. But I enjoy it all the time.

4. Being repulsed by phone sweat! NOTHING is worse than when someone borrows (aka violates) your phone and leaves, sweat, make-up, or something unidentified on the screen. I clean my phone with a Lysol wipe periodically. I advise it.

5. Thinking pastors shouldn't preach with their cell phones on their hips. Unless your wife is expecting, or Jesus is going to text you before the rapture...let it go. It just makes it OK for teens to do it. And yes I understand that many people have their bibles on their phones now, but lets be honest, do you ignore a text? Or fight the temptation to check FB during offering? Give God his time people.

6. Enjoying walking in the rain. I can't explain it. I just love it.

7. Changing the channel during the "talking snot" mucinex commercials. Who came up with that? Or the talking wart? Really?

8. Liking the smell of paint...I'm going to have to give this one up if I ever have kids but...mmmm! I love me some fresh paint.

OK, so all that I have listed above at least ONE other person has agreed with me on. Do any of these apply to you? Do you have any quirks that have been recently validated and you sleep better because of it?

Chuck Can Sing!

2010-06-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

Check out Zachary Levi (The main Character from NBC's Chuck) singing "Terrified" with Katharine McPhee! I am addicted to this song!

Word Bash #6

2010-06-07T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hello my friends. This Word Bash stands alone. It has gotten under my skin so badly that I left myself a memo on my crackberry so I wouldn't forget to post.

It's tricky because English is hard. We have all of these rules and exceptions to the rules. BUT it is our language and deserves to be well-learned. I will soon be posting about the absurdity of the people protesting the National Spelling Bee...because the English language rules are too challenging. More on that later...

So down to the matter. I researched and there is no such word as "nother". In fact as I'm typing, spell check tells me it is wrong. So can we PLEASE agree to stop saying "that's a whole nother issue" or "it is a whole nother thing"? I am a fan of the current Bachelorette but she used this phrase on last week's episode and I cringed. And don't get me wrong there is something about that phrasing that makes sense in our brains. I've been tempted to use it myself, but alas "nother" doesn't exist.

Who were you having a conversation with the first time you heard it being used?

Congratulations c/o 2010!

2010-05-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was pretty awesome. My younger sister graduated from high school as a cheerleader, track runner, multi-club participant, skating-rink master, and only 2 classes shy of her AA degree. She is 7 times the senior I was and 7 years younger. I couldn't be more proud! Not only that but she had some ballin shoes to wear with her dress. They are Steve Madden Leopard round toe sling backs! Beautiful...but this is where our craziness begins:

3:47 - Me, Mom, Carissa & Britt try to find parking near the Ocean Center...there are 650 graduates...it starts at 4. :/
3:58 - Court calls mom. "Mom, I need black shoes. They won't let me walk the stage unless my shoes are black."

4:00 - The 4 of us in the car cruise the Daytona Beach strip looking for a place to buy black shoes. The only one in the car who is wearing black shoes is Carissa...size 9. Courtney wears a size 7 1/2.

4:02 - Court calls back "what am I going to do?" Mom says "we're bringing you Carissa's shoes."

4:07 - Through CRAZY traffic we circle behind the ocean center. Carissa & Tiffane jump out of the car. Brittany takes the driver's seat. They leave to park, we leave to find Courtney.
4:09 - MOVE people can't you see we're running down the street with 4 inch, size 9 stilettos?
4:13 - Carissa: "excuse me sir I know you work here. We need to get these shoes to one of the graduates, do you know how we can do that?"

4:13:30 - Man: "you can try but they're not going to let you in there"
4:13:40 - Tiffane(in thought): "say I won't...that's my sister!"
4:15 - Carissa suggests that I ask a different staff person while she tries to spot court on the ground floor and get her attention.
4:17 - The second (more optimistic) staff person tells us to go to the ground floor and ask to speak with a faculty member.
4:18 - Tiffane (crying): "Hi I'm Courtney Raulerson's sister and we were told that if she doesn't change into these black shoes she can't walk the stage. Is there anyway you can get them to her"

4:19 - DHS Faculty Member: "Let me see if I can locate her, hand me the shoes". The faculty member walks amongst 600+ students, and finds my sister on the end...Praise Jesus. She comes back with the Steve Maddens in hand.

4:21 - Carissa & I hustle back to our spots just in time to hear the Obama wanna-be

valedictorian talk about Lady Gaga...not joking!

4:22 - Deep Sigh of relief.

It was crazy but so awesome. Thank you Carissa for lending your heels and wearing flip flops with that amazing dress you had on. Thank you unidentified faculty member. Thank you Jesus for working things out!

Courtney and Carissa at the house before the craziness started...

Courtney & Wendell at the house

Courtney & Daniel outside at graduation

The cousins! :)

Court, Mom & Me

The whole family...talking to 50 different people as we often do! :)

7 years and counting

2010-05-21T09:08:00.000-07:00

So my little sister graduates from High School tomorrow and I am excited and proud and freaked out. I am old. She and I are 7 years apart so that means it has been 7 years since I graduated from High School. Whew! Where does the time go?

It made me think though...I'm really proud of what I've done since then. The Mentalist was on last night (the rerun not the season finale) and it was about a 15 year class reunion. Patrick Jane (who is hot and intuitive soooo...super hot!)made the observation that the majority of people were trying to be someone they weren't. Fake hair, boobs, stories, etc. But I don't think I would feel compelled to be that way. I have stayed close to my family, my good friends, I have a wonderful job, an amazing boyfriend, my relationship with Jesus is better than ever, I have a car that has a working glove box (woop woop, Kristen), I've done mission work every summer since graduation. I finally got out of GCCCCCC lol. My life isn't perfect and I've also done some things that I am NOT PROUD of, but overall I am proud of who I am now. I must say that it is 100% because I've tried to follow God's plan for my life and not my own. My plan didn't involve Chipley or leaving Musical Theatre or living apart from my family - it involved a priest, a soldier and musician. And no that's not a joke setup, it was a VERY flawed plan. But I've gotten so much more and so much better than my plan. That is the awesomeness of Jesus.

So no matter how long it's been, what is something you've done since High School graduation that you're most proud of?

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

It's old, but still hillarious. :)

Updates

2010-04-28T12:20:00.001-07:00

Just a collection of thoughts for today. I couldn't decide on one post topic. So I went with 20. :)

1. I love Jesus. He has been rescuing me from all kinds of craziness lately. If you don't know Him, you should.
2. I become more like my mother everyday.
3. Sometimes when I'm at work I think "do these people know how crazy I am"? I play tetris on my break...not read the Journal of American Medicine! But I like my job and I'm glad I'm here.
4. My sister graduates from HS in less than a month...I am OLD!
5. Kate got kicked off DWTS last week. Praise the Lord!
6. Wheat thins and cream cheese...a revelation!
7. My road rage is getting better.
8. I am completely in love with my boyfriend
9. I have reached level 13 in Tetris...pretty amazing.
10. I may or may not have listened to "Backstreet Boys greatest hits" all day yesterday.
11. Kenneth and I were discussing the absurdity of the KFC Double Down...seriously a "sandwich" made of two chicken breasts, cheese and bacon?
12.Today has been quite emotional for me, so during lunch I availed myself to a specific type of therapy involving Target and Chik Fil A. It is very effective.
13.Apparently there is a newspaper in Alabama (surprise surprise) that has an "ebony" section...they changed from "colored" to "ebony" after the election. :)Progress!
14. Not doing mission work in Jamaica this summer for the first time in 4 years. :(
15. I am addicted to brick breaker on my phone.
16. I am less a fan of facebook now than ever. And I'm kind of over being pressured into it. Sorry peeps but I just don't care enough.
17. It is BEAUTIFUL outside today! Clear, sunny, high of 78.
18. I wish I could bottle up Justin Timberlake's voice and pour it all over me like chocolate sauce. LOL
19. I officially have 6 weddings to participate in this summer.
20. None of the bridesmaids dresses are teal...the color of gangrene. :)

Evidence

2010-04-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. Again, nothing against Kate personally. But it's a DANCE competition. See for yourself.

BOYCOTT

2010-04-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

How is it that in America, Ellen, who is funny and famous but cannot sing, can judge American Idol? How is it that a psycho reality star who literally WALKS during her routine...not dances...did not get kicked off last night?

I know Kate Gosselin has been through a lot of stuff this past year and I hate it for her...but that is NO reason for her to still be on Dancing With the Stars. I can't play basketball. And I wouldn't ask America to watch me on TV and vote to see me keep doing it just because I had a rough patch in my personal life.

The most unfortunate part is that there is no way to vote her off. I can only vote to keep others on. So I am PLEADING with you all...STOP VOTING FOR KATE. I will post a video later.

Is this mean? Sorry. But I just have too much respect for the performing arts. You should too, America.

Tiff Wonders Why II...

2010-03-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

...People who take your order through a drive through act as if you're inconveniencing them. In my first couple of weeks here in Tallahassee, I frequented Zaxby's & Chik-Fil-A. I am a firm believer in home-cooked meals, but I only had half of my kitchen stuff in place. Anyhoo...I repeatedly noticed that "Susie" would take my order, I would drive around, roll down the window and begin to find my cash or card or whatever...and she would have her hand flopped out as if to say " could you move any slower!" My question is...what did Susie think I was doing between ordering at the speaker and parking at the window? I was driving. And I'm sorry that I'm not talented enough to count out 46 cents while driving.

Next meet Leroy! Now I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but I'd say that Leroy has irritable bowel syndrome because his pants are half way down BUT his shirt is tucked in them which leaves me to conclude that he needs to be able to get his bare bottom to a toilet with a quickness. Not only that, but Leroy is upset because I am interrupting his text conversation with Bukwanza to ask him for a straw which he forgot to put in the bag in the first place.

Finally, here's a sweet girl names Rose. Rose is 15 and in love with her perfect boyfriend who is in line at any given restaurant. But he isn't there to order, no! He's simply there for her to look at...while she's taking my order. This particular incident resulted in me getting a chicken salad sandwich instead of a grilled chicken sandwich.

Now I'm not a complainer, I'm a solution finder. I would gladly offer a class for teen fast food workers. We would cover everything from saving money, to enunciating during a drive through conversation, to the REAL purpose of a belt. :) So, I'm asking for other suggestions on topics to be taught in this class...Your thoughts!

What I've Been Up To...

2010-03-11T13:08:00.001-08:00

I have been working for the state Department of Health since September and my job basically consists of whatever I'm told to do. :) We're a two-man office so this is truly the case. But I wanted to share an accomplishment I'm most proud of. Through a company called WAHI media, our office has developed an online resource called TeenTruth.org and it rocks! It is basically an interactive drama, online, that addresses youth issues from underage drinking to drugs to parent/child communication. And there is something for everyone. Youth, Parents & concerned adults! Please check it out and let me know what you think!!

Worth Listening to...

2010-02-22T06:56:00.001-08:00

I discovered Eric Hutchinson about a year ago, but I just found this video and thought it was worth sharing. Enjoy!

Routines

2010-02-02T13:48:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone...now that it is February.

Steph, L & I have discussed this before, but you can tell a lot about a person by the way they load the dishwasher. All 3 of us do it differently, conincidentally. Since I drive approximately 3 hours a day, I have thought about other routines that say a lot about a person.

I would love for you all to share your dishwashing method, but its kind of difficult. So I've thought of another question that deals with methodology. Which body part do you wash first in the shower (bear in mind this is a family-friendly blog)?

I technically wash my hair first, but body part would be right shoulder & arm.

Gone are the days...

2009-12-21T08:18:00.000-08:00

...I've mentioned this to Steph before...and maybe L, but one of the things I miss most when this time of year comes around is working at Family Christian Stores. We would serve wassail, Matt would play the only song on the Christmas CD that I hated over and over, there were pretty bags hanging behind us. It was hectic at times, but there was always something that I loved about being there. I LOVED being able to say Merry Christmas. I loved helping people find that one thing that they REALLY needed. Most of all, I loved when we would have staff parties at George's house and Steph would get me things made of cotton...or that smelled like cotton...never got old.

I know its silly to mention retail this time of year. Of course the season is all about Jesus. But I guess I miss being able to work retail with that in mind. Praying for people, helping people, smiling and saying Merry Christmas. I miss it. And in my office I only get to say it to myself. :) And all of you. Merry Christmas!

Tiff Wonders Why...

2009-12-08T07:22:00.000-08:00

...people are allowed a drivers license without having to learn the following:
-how to use a 4 way stop
-the difference between the cruising and passing lanes on the interstate
-how to use a turn signal
-that you can only go as fast as the car in front of you

I know this is an awfully critical topic for the Christmas season, but seriously...! My boyfriend pointed out my road rage the other day and I realize that I may have a problem. It has magnified now that 85% of my life is spent on the road. Jesus and I are working on me and that patience and kindness thing. When walking or sitting, I'm good, but driving is a different story. So here are some KIND hints for drivers out there:

-When approaching a 4 way stop, make a complete stop. The first person to stop has the right of way then it is the next stopped car to the right. If you have stopped and there is another car approaching but no one else is at the 4-way, you may proceed. You don't have to sit there and wait for the other car to stop (traffic time saved 20 seconds).

-On the interstate, no matter how many lanes, the far left lane is for passing...not cruising. DO NOT get into this lane and set your cruise control on 70. YOU WILL BE RUN OVER! Also, if you have the guts to get in the passing lane , follow through with it. Don't get over and play neck and neck with the car next to you.

-Somewhere near your steering wheel is a small stick that controls your turn signal. Please locate it and use it. Also, using it AFTER you've moved into the next lane does not count and is useless.

-When on a two lane road, I COMPLETELY support moving with the flow of traffic. BUT if the traffic in front of me is a school bus, county transport and grandma Sue, I will not be traveling faster than 30 mph because it is most likely impossible. So PLEASE do not tailgate. It helps no one...and you don't get there faster. HOWEVER if I am doing 40 in a 45 and there is no one in front of me, please tailgate me until I respond with acceleration. Thanks.

Expect the Unexpected

2009-11-25T08:09:00.001-08:00

So I made a comment to a co-worker the other day about Aerosmith and she looked at me crossed-eyed. Sub text "black people don't listen to Aerosmith". I've never really fit into any stereotype and if you know me well enough you know that's true. But here are some artists and specific songs that you may be surprised to find on my ipod.

-Live With Lonesome, Little Big Town (BEAUTIFUL)
-Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued, Fall Out Boy
-Just Dance, Lady Gaga (I'm a little embarrassed about this one. The lyrics aren't great, but it gets stuck in your head)
-Completely, Diamond Rio (Really Old, but I LOVE it)
-When Doves Cry, Prince (He is SUPER weird, I know)
-More Than a Feeling, Boston

I should point out that these are songs that I've belted in the car, not just ones that I tolerate in the elevator. I love music...all kinds.

Pardon My Mush...

2009-11-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

I swore I wouldn't be one of those girlfriends with pictures of my beau & me as my phone background. But I've realized that you don't do that because you periodically forget what they look like...which is what I've always assumed. Its just that some people make life better and since you can't have them around all the time, a picture is the next best thing. In a complete fit of honesty...there are moments where I think "if I stare at this picture long enough, he'll jump right out and kiss me!" Still waiting for that...

This feeling is quite silly and vulnerable but positively one of the most wonderful, indescribable feelings in the world. Brooke Fraser tells Love's story much better than I. Read and smile (or gag depending on your current love life) :)

WITHOUT YOU
The sky opens up over me and you
And you don't seem to mind that we're soaked through
You kiss me in the rain, I forget what I'm moaning about
And I know I wouldn't be the same without you

I wouldn't be the same without you
I wouldn't be the same without you

I laugh at my own jokes and what I deem to be clever wit
And you don't seem to mind that I'm so stupid
You kiss me once again, I forget what I'm babbling about
And I know I wouldn't be the same without you

I couldn't replicate your touch or love anyone again this much
But I wouldn't be the same without you

I wouldn't be the same without you

*More from this WONDERFUL artist www.brookefraser.com

BEELS!

2009-10-26T05:39:00.000-07:00

I was going to wait and post this after a life update, but I heard it again recently and it just has to be addressed. Shortly after moving to Chipley (or the armpit of Florida as some call it) I learned that shopping would become alot like digging for gold...its fun and you like the results, but there aren't many places to do it.

Anyway, at my glorious disposal for clothes shopping I have Wal Mart, Peebles and Bealls Outlet. In the past year you can add CATO fashions to that list, thank you very much. In all seriousness, Bealls Outlet has come through for me in some tight spots. Ive purchased a Nine West bag, a pair of Ann Taylor dress pants and a last minute engagement party dress. You do what you have to do.

So in my shopping trips and around I have heard several people refer to the store Beels or BEE-ALS (like the small buzzing thing plus the name name AL). Which I guess at first glance of the store name: Bealls, it could happen...but I think the logo gives it away.

What do you think? Well, I asked just to make sure and the cashier confirmed that it is pronounced like Bells. :)

I know, I know...

2009-10-14T08:02:00.001-07:00

Many of you have had to eat your breakfast while watching the Today Show instead of reading this clever...yet silly blog. I am WAY overdue for an update. BUT there is a lot to update on. Expect new posts soon. But for now, check out my amazing cousin and her new blog. She is a make up artist with some serious talent...you may also check her out on Facebook. If you're in the Tampa area and you are in need of an artist be sure to contact her. The link to her blog is in my "people you should meet" section.

As a teaser...the following posts will be up soon:
Word bash - Bealls, you know the store that has a BELL for a logo...
Tiff Wonders Why (new feature) - older women don't understand that long hair is NOT ok.
Trip to New York
New Office in Tallahassee
The Office: Jim & Pam's Wedding comments

I look forward to sharing with you. :)

Word Bash #5

2009-05-20T08:53:00.001-07:00

I am long overdue for a new Word Bash post. Consider the following:

-"Hi kids, my name is Dr. Smiley and I am here to check your vision, hearing, weight and heighth..." PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE (as Morgan would say). A Doctor would never make the previous statement because there is a word in there that does not exist. "Heighth" is not a word...but "height" is.

-And to every deacon, scripture reader and Sunday School teacher in African American churches...the "w" in "sword" is silent. I understand that when we first came to America we had to teach ourselves how to read the bible. But let us take advantage of the freedom we now have...to read, write, excel in learning...and to pronounce things properly.

-This thought dabbles more in etiquette than speech, but IF you happen to posses that NASTY habit known as dipping (definition: holding chewing tobacco in your mouth until the saliva builds up and you have to spit it out. Meanwhile small particles of sharp materials cut into the inside of your lip allowing the nicotine & other chemicals - many of them toxic- to enter your blood stream. This is what may or may not give you a buzz.) Yes, I work for the Health Department. :) Anyway, if you do this...don't talk! There is NO way that black spit will stay in your mouth. And if you try to keep it in then nobody knows what in the world you're saying. So, do it in the car, or on the toilet or when you're alone. But PLEASE do not try to give anyone vital information with that big wad of gross in your mouth. Thank you.

The End!

Lemme lemme lemme update ya...

2009-05-05T08:21:00.001-07:00

Hi faithful readers!

Its been nearly a month since my last post and it feels like a week! So much is going on. Over the past 4 weeks I have visited my family (pictures of that will be up soon), hosted Twilight Night (a major event for work where we showed the movie and discussed healthy and unhealthy relationships), picked up another wedding for the end of this month, and did P&W for our women's conference, taught a week of classes with the COOLEST class ever (shout out to Ms. Nelson!), made stuffed mushrooms for the first time, got my car cleaned, had lunch with Stephanie and that cute little thing she's always feeding (I'm pretty sure its her kid), missed 2 episodes of the Office :(, went to the park with Kenneth (I love parks...Kenneth is pretty cool too), saw my brother and his awesome tour band from Warner Christian Academy (I love you Wendell, you're a great Assistant band Director)...

Whew!

Somewhere in the midst of all that I showered...I find this helpful in keeping friends.

What I've also learned is that God is the one who gives me strength. There is nothing I do that I can do by myself. I am moody and impatient and tired, but in my weakness He is strong and that is awesome! Be encouraged today. OH and check out the pictures below. Shout out to my friend Casey!

Ladies and Gentlemen: Casey Parish!

2009-05-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

Good Friend, Graphic Design Enthusiast, Rising Photographer...

Thank you, Casey!

Get Vaccinated!

2009-04-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

It's Been Awhile...

2009-04-13T14:20:00.001-07:00

Sorry friends I went MIA for a bit, but please believe I was in action not just hanging out. I'm hoping everyone had a wonderful Easter...I got to spend some time with my sweet friends the Kone's.

Shout out to some of the sweetest people I know!!

Other than that, I have been busy in classes trying to encourage young people to make some good decisions. I had one of my High School students ask me to the prom.

"Miss Tiffane...you go wit me to da prom"

"Sure! You don't mind if my boyfriend comes too, do you?"

"Naw..you fine! It don't matter."

"Well thanks for the invite, but I'm pretty sure that its illegal...for lots of reasons."

I love my job!

Just When You Thought...

2009-03-31T11:14:00.001-07:00

...I only had nice things to say. :) Not that this is mean, but it is controversial. Politics are corrupt on every side, so this isn't about parties or our current president. It is simply something that I feel strongly about. I am conservative in my views and I respect the politicians I know who are making an effort to uphold what is moral versus popular or pleasing. But I have heard several politicians and lay people recently make a statement likened to the following:

"Well if those Mexicans wanna be here they should have to learn our language - English! This is America"

Warning, if you agree with the above statement, we can still be friends, but you may want to stop reading here.

1. Not all Hispanics are Mexican. This is mainly for the area I live in. People here seem to think this. Ignorance may be involuntary, but it is not without consequence and should be avoided when possible.

2. Our language? Not to dim down the intentions of our forefathers, but if we were so "true" to who was here first, we would all be speaking Native American dialects. Not only that, but Americans (generally) aren't the best at speaking English.

3. Finally, let us not forget that the majority of our families (in generations past) moved here. German, Italian, Irish, African, Jewish, Anglo-Saxon...we didn't sprout from North American soil. These groups of people moved to America for the hope of something better...interesting concept.

Now for those of you who believe you have a conscience...consider the following:

4. If you're Jose and you're making $3.00 a week packing tomatoes,you have 4 children, a wife and her mother living with you...then you hear that 30 miles across a border you can make $7.00 a day...would you try to change your situation? This does NOT excuse doing something illegal. Illegal immigration is WRONG - period.
BUT
wouldn't it be great of we Christians went on mission trips to Mexico and stayed in their villages, NOT American owned hotels and taught them how to immigrate LEGALLY? Or how to manage money, or increase their crop harvest so that they could have a higher quality of life in Mexico?

And Finally, what I want to say to everyone who makes this statement to my face:

5. Use the hot air and energy you're exasperating now to "vent" to me and go teach one of them how to speak English.

I do understand the toll illegal immigration has taken on our economy and safety. Again, it is wrong. If our government decides to recreate the Great Wall of China along our borders, so be it. But this doesn't give us (especially Christians)the right to discriminate against those who are already here.

This summer, a drunk driver hit my sister and she suffered a concussion. He was drunk, high, speeding and an illegal alien. Obviously he had no insurance so we have a lot of bills to pay. We're mad. BUT God doesn't value him any less...so how can we? My sister said that.

Food for thought.

Dr. Raulerson?????

2009-03-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of my dad. To say he had obstacles in his life is an understatement, but then again, who hasn't? Anyway. In December of 2007 he received his Doctorate in Theology from beacon University. I went to his graduation, I knew it happened, but it hit me in a different way when he spoke at my church last Sunday and Pastor Vince introduced him as Doctor Raulerson. I see why Parents cry when their kids succeed. That is all I could do. Anyway...it was a very special day. Several friends who could also be considered family members attended and we praised God and ate and laughed and did what we do. HUGE thank you to the Gunter's for allowing us to use their Pond House.

Mom & Dad

Family Pic!

Real Parents & Surrogate Parents (Donna & Charles Gunter)

A couple of Sissies!

Oh Joy It's Coy (Friend & Brilliant Photographer) :)

Overwhelming Me...

2009-03-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

Those two words pertain to a lot in my life right now. I realized that I have some new blog readers who may not know much about what I have currently going on. Here is an update. Overwhelming me refers to...

1. The name of a song my brother (Wendell) wrote. When dad preached at my church this Sunday we sang it during the alter call. It is about being compelled and overwhelmed by the presence of God. Awesome stuff. My family is the world to me and I am so happy to be able to share the realtionship and heart for ministry that we have. We're crazy...but we're fun.

2. How I've felt at work lately. I've been the only person in my grant for about 2 years now, but this cycle (January 09-June 09) has been a bit more challenging to me. I like challenges, so I'm not discouraged - I'm just overwhelmed at times. The people I work with only see me as an educator, not a budget manager, data analyzer, etc. I know God will give me the grace to handle it...its just a lot to handle.

3. Kenneth Gordon. Its a good name, right? :) He is more than just a boyfriend. He is an opportunity for me to be a part of something for me. As a recovering people pleaser, I've been in several relationships that literally drained me. But Ken adds value and challenge and trust and self-esteem & humor to my life. I have been blessed with wonderful friends who do this as well, BUT I don't get to kiss them. :) I am overhwelmed at the fact that he chose me.

4. My friends! Holy cow, I am soooooooooo blessed. Lauren listens to my silly stories no matter how long they last. Steph drove 50 miles to be with me and my family on a really important day. Kristen prays dilligently for me...when she has the most challenging schedule and work load of her own. Coy gives advice like a pro...how is she so smart? Morgan is one of the FEW who truly understands the "Chipley Factor". God knows exactly what I need right now and he's put people in place for me to share and laugh and cry and stalk with. Ovewhelming!

5. God uses me?! Are you sure God? Don't you know how messed up I am? That I've lied and been unfauthful to you and done the complete opposite of things I should have done. But yet I talk to students who want to follow my example and church members who felt your presence because you used me. Prayers...silent prayers in my heart have been answered on the behalf of others. I don't deserve all of this, but Thank you.

Whew!

Word Bash is BACK!!! #4

2009-02-27T06:45:00.001-08:00

Oh how I've missed these posts.

Last week I attended a conference with an array of people (health professionals, mind you) from around the state. This is where I received some new material for this post. Let's start with my brothas and sistas...

HOW in the WORLD did we learn to replace the letter "f" with a "th" sound? For instance the word "after" becomes "ather". I know it sounds crazy, but it happens. Please make it stop happening.

And once again here in LA (Lower Alabama) there is this phrase-ology that begins when country people get excited...tenses don't matter. Example: "He was running so hard he come 'round the corner and tripped." Really? He come? Not came?

Finally, I don't know what rule this breaks, but there has to be one. Same demographic by the way. "Every time Jenny hears that song she starts to crying." Please, don't use the easier, one-less-syllable verson of that statement "Every time Jenny hears that song she starts crying."

For those of you who are reading my word bash post for the first time, know that I'm not grammatically perfect and I don't claim to be. But I do think American's BUTCHER the English language (text messaging doesn't help) and someone needs to defend it! As usual, feel free to call me out on any mistakes you find on my blog. :) Have a grammatically correct day! :)

Oh Baby!

2009-02-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

The past few years, my circle of friends have gone through the marriage thing. To say that I "run the wedding circuit" is an understatement. But Since 2006 it hasn't just been old friends from high school...my very own girls and guys have been getting married. It has been a great experience and I've learned so much, but that does NOT prepare you for the baby phase!! It is a whole new wave of terms and deadlines (also known as due-dates) and smells. :) There was recently an article in Cosmo that discussed changes in friendships when your buddies have babies, so this has inspired my own list of thoughts for friends with and without babies.

To the new Mom's & Dad's
1. DON'T apologize for being a mom and dad. Yes things are different and it will take you a little longer to load everything in or out of car, but your baby-less friends understand. It's ok.

2. DO understand that your baby is more exciting and beautiful and perfect to you than anyone else and pictures are a GREAT way to capture this, BUT you should have an edited slideshow for friends and a lengthier one for grandma or whoever else wants to see you RIGHT after you delivered. A "friend" at church brought her entire birthing collection to show EVRYONE - wrong. Steph quickly flipped through similar shots to show the super cute ones - right. By the way check out her blog to see pics (not too many :) ) of Addison Grace.

3. DO NOT let everyone touch your child! This has nothing to do with friendship really, I just work for the health department and it must be said. You are the mom/dad and it is ok to say "I think they are resting right now" or "would you mind washing your hands first".

Non-baby havers...
1. Babies are not aliens and it can be very offensive to look or talk about your friend's baby as such. No, their bodily fluids won't kill you. Yes they cry, but that is good. Helen Keller didn't cry as a baby...enough said.

2. Your friends still want to be your friends. Yes they are caring for a life, but they still care about your life. Be respectful of their late nights & such, but sending a text or email or PRAYER is a great way to let them know you haven't written them off.

3. Get used to the boob. Breastfeeding is a normal, healthy thing. I believe that there is a level of disccretion mom's should use, but if you're around a new mom enough...you're gonna see it. Don't stare, but don't FREAK out either. Continue what you're doing, or if you're uncomfortable, it is a great opporunity to look at more pictures of the baby, go to the bathroom, or make a phone call.

The End. :)

Ok, Ok...so I'll post some new pictures!

2009-02-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

I was recently busted by a friend of mine (Cough Lauren Cough) for not having very many updated pictures on my blog. So here are some random thoughts and shots from the past year.

Last Spring Ian and I went and saw Wicked - the Musical in Ft. Lauderdale. AWESOME TRIP!

The view from the hotel window! I miss South Florida!!

This is why I DON'T believe in GPS systems. We were supposed to go to this seafood shack on the water and we eneded up here...in an alley!

The theatre is right on the intercoastal waterway. So after we stalked the cast the afternoon before the show, we walked along the water. Great day!

Our only picture from the night of the show. I think we were too excited to care about pics of us. we had seats right by the pit (the cut out below the stage where the orchestra sits). Priorities!!

LETS SEE WHAT ELSE...

I sang for a wedding over the summer (one of many) and made a new little friend. She wants to be a singer when she grows up. Sweet girl!

Same wedding! Me in a Maclean Sandwich! I think Drew, Marc and I attended at least 5 of the same weddings this past year. Crazy!

OK...WHAT ELSE!

This summer, Stephanie and Kristen Successfully surprised me with a birthday party...I don't know how it happened! :) Thank you, ladies! Good times.

Also, big props to Tim for my cake! Not that you made it, but you did apprehend it. means just as much! :)

LAST but not LEAST its time for family!

If you don't know the Righteous Boys...well shame on you! My younger brother's started a rap group with their church in DeLand. God has used them to minister to tons of people who wouldn't hear the gospel otherwise. Do we get crunk? Yes. Do we sell out God's word for hype and ridiculousness? No. Check them out on MySpace. Anyway...Here are pics from a concert where Courtney and I sang as well!

More from the concert! :)

Finally we took family protraits with my mom's side of the family...all 99 thousand of us. I'll post more of those in the future.

25 Thoughts...

2009-02-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

1. I am horrible at those pictures you take of yourself. Like when you and 3 friends hug, but you’re on the end so you have to hold the camera. I always end up taking a picture of the ceiling.

2. I like for things to be color coordinated. Everything I have filed at work has a color.

3. If I had to lose one of my senses, I would choose sight.

4. One of my favorite moments in life – I went home to visit the family and we participated in a back-to-school outreach concert in this park. My sister and I were singing back up to a song my brothers were rapping. We were doing it a capella then all of a sudden this awesome Praise and Worship group from another church (who just happened to be Spanish :)) started backing us up on the instruments. They didn’t know the music or anything. They just picked it up…it was AMAZING!

5. I love forensic and crime investigative shows. I think sub-consciously I want to be one of those kick-butt chick cops. Think Sandra Bullock in Murder By Numbers.

6. I’m not a pet person, but I think I can change (stole that From my brother, but it holds true for me too)

7. I’ve improved on telling people how I feel…and I feel better about myself. Which is ironic because I always thought I was helping someone by with-holding certain things. No, not so much.

8. I lead praise and worship at my church and it is one of the most wonderful privileges in my life.

9. I would really like to be a counselor at a summer camp this year. I do that in Jamaica, but I would like to do one in States.

10. I have to wipe excess water off of the sink after I use it. Any sink.

11. I won 12 dollars during the Super Bowl…wasn’t expecting that.

12. in 9th grade , my sister was driving home and at a stop light i saw a lady to my right balling her eyes out. it was raining. she had a green '01 civic. i wanted to follow her and find out what was wrong and i still really want to find her even though that was like 7 years ago. it was a emotionally draining thing to watch. < Again Wendell’s answer, but I was the one driving. I remember that day like it was today.

13. I don’t find it complimentary when older women say “Oh wow, you’re 23? You look like a baby! You’ll appreciate it when you’re 40.” That is NOT a compliment.

14. Since Barack Obama cares about the advancement of colored people…I would love for him to come observe my abstinence class so he can advance me by not yanking abstinence funding. Is there someone I can write about that :)

15. If I could get Diagnosis Murder (which is an old TV show w/Dick Van Dyke in it) the complete series on DVD…I would be SO happy.!

16. I am currently dating a wonderful man who makes me feel smart and pretty and funny. I don’t think he knows how much he adds to my life.

17. If you had told me a year ago that I would write number 16, I would have laughed hysterically in your presence.

18. I have observed that men can say in one sentence what it takes women a paragraph to convey.

19. My siblings say that I was the most violent of all 4 of us growing up. This is only funny because now, the ONLY reason I would be violent is if someone did something to hurt my siblings.

20. Some days I feel unattractive which is weird because it’s not like I have a different body part all of a sudden…I don’t know.

21. I think God allows us to fall in love with others here on Earth so we can have a better, undeniable, first hand example of how He loves us. If we think that someone love us SO much that they would do anything for us…Jesus already has.

22. I am filling this out right now instead of doing important work.

23. I enjoy going to parks. I always have. My mom used to take us on nature walks when we were home-schooled. Great, unforgettable quality Time

24. I am a night person

25. After a long…treacherous run of broken vehicles. I finally have a new(er) one that works. If it is any indicator of the power of “waiting for the right one” then I am good with this whole abstinence thing :)

It's About Time

2009-02-05T13:10:00.000-08:00

It has literally been almost one year to the day since my last post. I have so much to say. :) I will do my best to keep this updated especially for all of my out of town friends. Expect a full update tomorrow.

Happy Crapentine's Day

2008-02-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

So I admit it. I am one of those anti-Valentine's day people. If I'm not wearing my traditional all black, you can count on me wearing a shirt that says "black is the new love" or something of the sort...

It's not thatI'm anti-love, I just think it's a ploy of the government to make more money! I mean I've received nice things on Valentine's Day...but that didn't make me love anyone more of less. I think it's that I'm a practical gift person. Duct Tape, Socks, Dictionaries,-my kind of stuff! What the heck am I going to do with a 6 foot, pink gorilla?? The following are random acts of kindness (only one done on V-Day) that were PRICELESS!!

1. A couple weekends ago, Jessica came and hung out with me. We went to Wal Mart and bought a ladder and some energy-efficient lightbulbs. She helped me change all of the lightbulbs in my 14 foot ceilings. 5' me appreciated that so much! :)

2. The last few weeks have been crazy at work! We're starting a new grant and I've been getting to work at like 6:45-7:00 (which is SO not me). One day I came in and my boss had cinnamon rolls from McDonalds on my desk. That was a good day.

3. On this o so dreary day, I came to work (after being sick this week) and had the prettiest flowers from Steph and Lauren...I just wish I could have smelled them :/
(I wanted to add a picture, but my computer is crazy...sorry)

All of this...so much better than a stuffed animal :)

Purposeful

2008-01-31T11:03:00.000-08:00

I am SO not a fan of those emails that middle-aged moms send that usually go like this
---------
To: Person
From: Mom
Subject: Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw: national best friends forever day

Message:

You're my angel with no wings!
If I had to pick 3 things in this life to never give up, it would be love, chocolate and you!
Sometimes life gets you down, but you bring me up
Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend!

Send this message to 10 people in 10 seconds and you will get a big blessing from God! Send it back to me and you will have good luck and ice cream and lots of money.
And if you don't...the devil will eat your soul!!!!!!!
---------
Just kidding...but seriously its ridiculous. Recently I received a truly inspiring email. So much so, that i didn't foward it to anyone, I just took a minute to soak it in and made a committment to try to live it out. There is a girl I work with who is so sincere in her love for Jesus. She's been a Christian forever, but she has such a zeal...the way newly saved people do. I envy it at times. Anyway she sent me a thought she had about being a purposeful witness. She (and a lot of us) have become passivists in thinking that our Christian T-shirts, P & W music in the car or cross around our neck is enough. But personally I think I owe the true friend who laid his life down :) more than that. Its a good thing He didn't casually stroll by Jerusalem hoping someone would go, "yeah he looks like the messiah-type". He made a point to talk to people one on one. He looked them in the eye. He took every opportunity to share an undeniable truth with every person. He is Christ and He loves them. That is what I want to do. I want to look for people that I can pray with or share a story of my faith with. Not bash them with a bible, but overwhelm them with the presence of the Holy Spirit in me. Not by accident, but on purpose.

Unattached...currently...surprising

2008-01-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

So, I have incurred a feeling for the first time in awhile...I feel single. And I'm ok with it. For those of you who have always had a boyfriend or its been awhile since you've had to date, there are different ways to feel single. let me explain.

Happily Single- Content with who you are and where you're at in life. Not looking, but always open to whatever life brings

Restlessly Single- You seem happy, but secretly every time you walk into a store or restaurant you picture having a random conversation with the check out guy very much like the 1-word How to Lose a Guy convo.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Andie Anderson"

"Benjamin Berry"

"Cute"

"Thank You"

"I meant your name"

" (laughs) Thank you two times"

Uncomfortably Single-you avoid social situations where couples will be gatehring because it makes you feellike a leper on the outskirts of the conversations about "his favorite tv show" "their last trip to the grocery store" And God forbid if they've had their first kid "Wanna see a picture of Tommy's poop?" NOOOOOO.

Desperately Single-you take EVERY chance to talk to a guy. Especially the weird ones who in most cases you would completely ignore or deem as "mediocre" or "not your type"

Miserably Single-you don't date...don't try...don't want to be set up or even think about it. You sit at home watching chick flicks and eating chocolate chip cookies and drinking something that will help you daydream about the celebrity of your choice knocking on your door in Chipley...like he would ever find it.

(My personal choice at the moment) Derek Hough. One of the professional Ballroom dancers from Season 5 Dancing W/the Stars. Its random, and I'm not huge on blondes, but he just gets me!

lol as I'm sure you've gathered, I've been in all of these positions and I must say it feels nice to be happy. :) I've always had best guy friends and so I've never felt like I was missing anything when I wasn't dating, but right now its Lauren, Steph and Kristen...and I'm ok! Sometimes you're surprised by your own strength, but you never see it until you're pushed there. I'm glad I got pushed. Oh! I gotta go...Derek just knocked on the door! :)

And All that jazz...

2007-12-14T14:20:00.000-08:00

I would like to discuss 2 people who have made my life! Not just my day or a month or my year but they have given me the opportunity to make some unforgettable memories.

First, Ian Devaney....

after fighting over seas for over a year, when he could be thinking about anything and anyone else, he sends me an email with a confirmation for 2 tickets to see Wicked...as in one of the most awesome musicals ever. We are going in March!!! I can't wait

Second, Stephanie Anne Nicole Farrell Stokes The 9th :)...

Just kidding...that could've been us as babies :) You may click on the link of her page to see what she looks like now (sorry Steph I didn't have a pic of you by yourself lol). Anyway, she bought me tickets to see Chicago in April!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just can't tell you how much it means to me to have friends who like and appreciate musical theatre the way I do. Not everyone does and to each his own, but I am SO thankful that each of you thought of me! :)

UPDATE!!

2007-12-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am sorry that this has taken me so long. Life has been extremely busy lately. Since only have a computer at work, I can only update my blog here. Unfortunately, I have been working a lot lately, just not at my office.

To fill you all in. I am officially the coordinator of Teens Above the Influence. We are the Department of Health's Abstinence Education Project that covers Holmes, Washington, Jackson, Calhoun and Liberty Counties. Whew! So I am not only teaching 5-day curriculum in 6th and 8th grade, but making 1 time presentations in 7th and 10th grade, purchasing supplies and incentives for our program, going to disease updates so that we stay medically accurate, and program trainings so I know how to do all of the things I've just described. It is hectic and busy and stressful at times, but I LOVE IT!

This past Friday, several of our students were invited to participate in the World AIDS day event at the Capitol in Tallahassee. They performed a skit that I wrote called "I am the Voice". It represents all of those who have tested positive for HIV or know someone who has. I was not able to attend because I was in Tampa w/my fam, but I do have pictures of my students.

I am so blessed to work with the youth that I do. They are powerful and passionate about helping people choose to live life...to not get caught up in things that leave you feeling empty. They inspire me and keep me in check. Can I just say that it is hard to be 22 and abstinent :) But if they can do it, so can I.

Your thoughts?

2007-10-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog Reader...
What makes this haircut acceptable? For people who live in 2007? Who have jobs? And some of them have all their teeth? Thats all I really care to say. Please comment. :)

Better than Gonorrhea

2007-10-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

Friday night went MUCH better than I expected. The kids were well behaved and we had SO much fun. The parents were pleased and nothing was spilled on the floor :) My favorite part of the night is recorded below. The conversation is between 3 year old Sydney and myself. She is like a Welch's grape juice commercial kid but with a little more twang...SO CUTE!

"Ms. Tiffane, my stomach hurts."

"Well come here Sydney, tell me whats wrong."

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"OK. Do you remember where it is, or do you want me to go with you?"

"Come with me."

The two of us migrate to the bathroom where she proceeds to sit down. I stand by the sink to give her some partial privacy, until her two brothers (ages 7 & 11) come in and sit on the edge of the tub while reciting the movie we just watched. The 3 year old speaks...

"Ms. Tiffane I have diarrhea"

"Oh, ok. Well do you need me to help you wipe?"

"Yeah. I don't wanna get the diarrhea on my hand."

As I help her, she is constantly turning around on the seat to look in the toilet. She finally gets a good look and says

"Yep! Its Diarrhea!"

Between Pizza, Monopoly, (of course) High School Musical, and a little Diarrhea. It was a GREAT night!

P.S. I "teach" kids for the record....turds :) I'll fix my spelling.

Lets Play "How many bills does Tiffane have"

2007-10-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

So tonight I have to babysit 3 children...this should not strike fear into a girl who is the oldest of four children, who's mother took care of at least one extra child most of her adolescent life, and who teaches kids on a daily basis. But honestly, its been awhile since I have been soley responsible for someone else's kids.

Did I mention they are my pastor's children? :)

And its not disciplinary issues that I'm worried about. I just think my house is very boring for the average 3, 7 and 11-year old. I don't have any toys or video games. I have uno...but sometimes I don't even want to play that. So I'll just have to pray for the best!

I am leaving work early to disinfect my house with lysol, bake some cookies and cue up High School Musical. If they leave healthy and happy and their faces look 2% better than the ones on the picture, my job is done.

Look foward to an update on Monday!!!!!

"Its Business Time"

2007-09-14T14:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't had the privilege of discovering "Flight of the Conchords" I'm sorry. If you had, the title of this particular post would mean SO much more :)

So the 3 (Steph, L & Me) of us have been friends for quite some time now and since all 3 of us are/were commited to abstinence until marriage we each want the other to have the best "first" experience possible.

In May of 2006, Steph and I successfully made it out to the condo where Chad and Lauren would be spending their first night together as husband and wife. We decked it out in candles and rose petals. Then we hid in the stairwell waiting for them to arrive and periodically checking to be sure the candles didn't burn anything. Affirmative.

So for Steph and Thad (which I hope you readers are realizing that I will have to marry a Tad or Brad to stay within the friendship, so if you know any ?-ad's...send 'em my way) L and I wanted to make it equally special. The night was going well. The reception was fun, the sparklers had been passed out, and that was our cue to dip out. The plan was to leave, grab Steph's truck from the church, get to their house on the beach, turn it into a magical palace of love and get out before they got home! :) The events after leaving the reception went like this:

7:48-L & Tiff Speed

7:59-L & Tiff Speed pass the church on 231 because the power was out for an entire 2 mile stretch.

8:01-L & Tiff turn around and drive 2 mph to find the church in the dark

8:03-Tiff proceeds to jump Steph's truck (which had already expereiced battery trouble that day)

8:05-Crazy men (who were actually from the church) came and "helped" us...with my car history, I could jump a car with my eyes closed, but we appreciated the effort :)

8:12-Steph's car starts so L leaves the light-less parking lot

8:12:32-Steph's car dies and so Tiff calls L and says "turn around"

8:20-L & TIff leave Steph's truck while franctically speeding to get gas so they can get to the beach so Steph and Thad can have sex in a magical love palace.

8:33-L & Tiff stop at a gas station (in their dresses) because they were underneath "E"

8:42-Steph Calls and says "we're here"

8:43-It doens't happen. Us getting there on time, not the sex. The sex happened.

8:45-L & Tiff decide to go to the house anyway to drop off things that Steph needed from out of her car.

9:01-Awkward

So here is a formal apology:

Steph, we're sorry about your car, and sorry that you didn't have a magical love palace, but were are excited that you MADE magical love :)

And Here is a formal warning:

In the case that you and Lauren don't make it on time to decorate wherever I will be having sex for the first time...really, its ok. Don't worry about it. Do not knock. Do not pass go. Do Not collect 200 dollars. Just go home. :)

Analyze this...

2007-08-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

...in a conversation with Steph this weekend, I bravely admitted that i am a pathological analyst. This has its good points and bad, but in a self analysis, I did something this weekend which confirmed that God loves my strengths and weaknesses.
There was a roach in my bathroom...I'm talking like at least 3 inches. I hate roaches (which is funny because if I had been a foreign Country, this would have been totally different)!!! But I kept the light on and went to get the can of spray. This was at 11:50 p.m. Then I went back and stood there...for an hour. I thought of everyway to get to it...it was on the ledge above my shower in clear sight, mind you. But I thought "ok, If I spray from this angle, it will go to the left. If I come this way it will fly towards me. But I can't just leave it. I can't sleep knowing its running around." There I stood, faced with an insect the size of my finger...I had the tool to kill it...I was in a good position...but I stood there for an hour out of fear. "Fear of what", you may ask? I'm not sure exactly. Fear that it would fly on me and bite me and infect me with its roach venom and I would be immediately paralyzed then it would call its roach friends and they would cover me and and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. :)

Please, now that you have a pitiful expression on your face like "Tiffane not only is that sad, but its ridiculous" know that did spray it. I sprayed the crap out of it while saying "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" lol...I'm not even lying.

So it brings me to admittance of this: I am afraid. I'm afraid of losing friends and being alone. I'm afraid of letting people down. I'm afraid of living in Chpley all my life and being the old lady on the corner with the cats (and roaches). But what a means for me to acknowledge my weakness. I don't like losing, I don't like being wrong, I don't like when people watch over my shoulder, I don't like being told what to do. But all of this comes from a fear of being seen as small, insignificant and incompetent. God know this and I think this is why I'm afraid of little things like roaches, so I am constantly reminded that there is nothing I can do on my own. It is only by His strength-which He faithfully gives.

Thank you to all of you who love me inspite of my pride and fear. Especially to Steph who not only listens to my rambling, but usually stays on the phone with me while I kill bugs! :) And to Lauren who got that spider the one time... :) I am blessed to have friends like you.

BOYS!!!!!!

2007-08-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

If you couldn't tell by the many exclamation points...I say this in an unhappy tone. I recently had a boy send me some "dating tips" as a joke. They were funny, but it has inspired me to write a few of my own tips...some funny, some essential for future success with any breathing female. So girls take heart, boys-take notes :)

1. We are emotional. Sorry but it comes with the package...lip gloss, boobs and tears! You gotta take them all. But in an emotional moment try your best not to talk. Just listen. Nine times out of ten, your advice (good or not) will be ignored because she can't hear you through the sobbing. So just wait for the opportune moment...which is probably the next day. :)

2. Its not about the chocolate or the roses its about WHY you give them. Lets say you say something hurtful...roses won't fix that. You can't fix something emotional with something physical. Try an apology...then some chocolate. And if you're dating a girl who is "satisfied" with the material stuff...she must have REALLY great boobs. Find someone who is worth something and dump the current gf

3. God made man and woman to compliment each other not complete each other. Eve came from Adam's rib, but Adam still functioned without it. Too many guys are looking for the "super-nurturer". Ya know, the girl who will "keep him straight"! This is a personal opinion which I will state like a fact : If you can't stay straight on your own, please do NOT bring your baggage to me. :) I'm all about helping someone become the best they can be, but this is not Extreme Makeover: boyfriend edition.

4. We like making out as much as we like cuddling! Its true. I'm tired of guys getting all the credit for the fire in a relationship. Boys-Find yourself a hot mama (the abstinent ones are best) and she'll keep things happy :)

5. Not every girl is the same...I know that seems contradictory to my listing of "girl rules" but its true. So guys, do us each a favor and realize that we may do or say something WAY different from your last girlfriend. Some girls climb trees...some shop...some talk all day...some say very little. Some are man-eaters...some would do just about anything for their guy. It doesn't make one good or bad, right or wrong. Just different.

6. You need us...whether its your mom, your sister, your wife...a crazy grandma...there is some female in your life that you can't do without. That is because we are great cheerleaders. We're motivators. We teach you to be compassionate. We feed you. lol We love deeply. So yeah, we're pretty awesome. BUT we need you too. This is not a "girl power" speech.

I think I may continue this list in the future. It'll be like "word bash" so you can look forward to future editions.

Not to...

2007-08-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

..."toot my own horn" "be Debbie downer" "sound jealous or something"! Phrases that we use daily as a preface to the very tone, attitude or characteristic that we are disclaiming. "not to be ugly...but that is ridiculous" :) I myself am guilty of saying things like this.

But why? Could it be we're afraid that those who hear our statement will deem us cocky, pessimistic, or jealous? Apparently not because we make the statement anyway; as if saying "not to be a jerk..." makes you any less of a jerk.

There are times when a statement needs to be said, but it may be taken the wrong way by the recipient or innocent by-listeners. Then comes the greater question "If its the truth, why not say it? Isn't it worse to lie than to have their feelings hurt for awhile?" Great question. I'm not promising that this will be a great answer, but we'll see :)

The missing factor here is not logic, but wisdom. Ethos, Pathos and Logos are wonderful concepts, but when God (not Aristotle) put these into play, He laid wisdom above them all. Wisdom says that your ethos (character) is earned and matures over time. Wisdom says that your Pathos (passion) has guidelines and should be driven by HIS spirit within you. Wisdom says that logos (logic) has its place when it comes with Godly validity. So God's wisdom shapes our words. With wisdom people get to know our character which should show them that we're not a jerk. Wisdom infuses our logic and passion with timing to know whether or not we should open our mouths. Or how to phrase what is coming out of our mouths. :)

This is something I am constantly working on. I have a mouth that is quicker than my wisdom at times....so I pray for the constant reminder that I am only right when I am wise. Speaking the truth does not make me right by God's standards. The devil can quote scripture, but I can ask for God's wisdom to speak his words at moments that can change lives and break spiritual bonds. Not to toot my own horn :)

Word Bash 3: "Conjuction Junction...

2007-08-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

...whats your function? Hooking up phrases, words and clauses". I don't know if anyone else was/is a School House Rock fan, but apparently the musical cartoon didn't reach as many lives as hoped for. In a vacuum of irony...I have noticed the very demographic that is charged with inventing the conjunction "y'all" has NO idea how to spell it. Here in Chi-town (that is Chipley) I have seen many a poster claiming that ya'll is an acceptable way to greet someone. The conjunction y'all represents you-all. The apostrophe replaces the "ou" from you. Unless you're from Boston and you say things like "ya ma", there is no need to put the apostrophe anywhere other than where it is supposed to be. Y'all got it?

For every piece of me that wants you...

2007-07-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

...another piece backs away. Its a James Morrison song. I would like to address choices. I've come to realize that when people say "life is all about choices" its true. Whether you choose to believe it or not. :) Yes there is a God with a perfect, eternal plan. There is also a Devil who wants nothing more than to sabotage that plan. But there are 2 other elements we often overlook (sometimes intentionally). There is life and there is us. God says "witness to your friend". The devil says "leave her alone she'll think you're a Jesus Freak". Life says "You're going to see her at school or work every day for the next year". You say "She gets on my nerves".

So many times I get caught up in the different "voices" or opinions I hear. And get frustrated over the fact that they exist...but that doesn't change the fact that they do. So once again I am left with a choice. This brings us to a very important question "why do I choose what I choose?" Is it based on my opinion? On my wisdom? On the truth of the "voice"? Although those are all factors, my choices should be based on my love and commitment to the one who gave me the means to have a choice in the first place. My opinion is fallible (although I don't always think so). My wisdom is lacking and tainted by my determination to do what I want to do. And there is the reality that all 4 influences may hold truth. I need to witness to her. She may think I'm a Jesus freak. I will see her on a regular basis and she gets on my nerves. As a Christian I choose to make Jesus' priorities my priorities. When I accepted Him I died to myself and rejected the Devil so that knocks out 2 voices leaving God and Life. Accepting the fact that All things (including life) were created by Him and for His purposes, God trumps life!

This doesn't necessarily make choosing easier, but it makes the Godly choice clearer. So my advice (in my infinite wisdom lol) is to accept the fact that you will be torn in two. You will mess up. You will make wrong choices. You will have conflicting voices, feelings and opinions. But those are perfect moments to acknowledge and accept God's grace and wisdom. He will give it.

I wish I were still there

2007-07-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from my trip...

Taylor (my musical partner in crime) & Lisan (Our adopted Jamaican child). Things move quickly in their country :)

This is a shot of the North Coast of the Island from Ocho Rios...so beautiful! :)

We ran a week long camp and these girls sat at my dinner table the first night!

The most awesome group...group 4-after our tug-of-war victory during sports day!!

Ja-makin-me-crazy

2007-07-17T09:25:00.001-07:00

There will soon be pictures...but for now all I have are stories.
This past week has been one of the most amazing experiences ever. For those of you who don't know, I went to Jamaica for 9 days on a mission trip and I wish I could have stayed longer. We stayed in a small area called Constant Springs its right outside of Kingston. The mission runs a summer camp for kids that live in more rural areas. This year we worked with kids 12 and under. They were awesome. I got to lead praise and worship and they all had so much energy. I loved every minute of it. I know that I want to be used by God like that for the rest of my life. We had about 12 out of the 35 kids commit their lives to Christ and 5 were baptized. You have to have your parents permission to be baptized fyi. I didn't want to leave... hopefully I'll have pics on here by tomorrow, but I just wanted to let you all know where I've been. :)

Rainy Days & Mondays...

2007-06-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

...It isn't raining, but it is Monday. And one of 2 isn't half bad :) I just feel like I've been awfully negative in my blogs lately...but I'm happy to report that this weekend was refreshing for me. I have been visiting a new church and it has been wonderful...God always looks out for us. The funniest thing is that I'm like one of 5 black people in the whole congregation so all of the older people go out of their way to welcome me...so funny. One guy said "we are so glad you came, we just want you to feel comfortable and know that there are all kinds of people here..."
"whew! good to know, because I have samepeoplephobia" He meant well! But seriously it has been a great experience.
Other than that things have been wonderful. No complaints. I'm about to eat some cheesecake and that is always good.

Word Bash-Part Deux :)

2007-06-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

Oh my friends....living up here in Chipley gives me so much material for this section. There are two words I will be adressing today: Across and Ask. I know these don't seem like words that would challenge the average American, but lets look at the first one shall we...across. PLEASE someone tell me where I can find the word "acrossed" or "acrost" in the dictionary? For those of you who are about to google it, let me save you some trouble-its not a word.
And to all of my peoples livin up in da ghetto...please to not "aks" or "ax" for anything because that is impossible and ridiculous. The three letter word is ASK. I truly hope no one who reads this is offended. I wouldn't want you to throw an aks acrost my head :)

What goes around...

2007-06-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

OK so who gets to coordinate a wedding for her X-boyfriend's cousin? I do! Pick me. You know I am seriously thinking about submitting my diary to Steven Speilberg as a potential movie script. My life is insanely ironic. Steph suggested that I name my first child "Irony" or "Ironi"! I don't know, maybe a middle name. :) He (the X) is now married and his wife is pregnant. I'm happy for him and sympathetic for her...! No thats not nice...I'm sure they are happy together in their happy little house in their happy little neighborhood with their happy little marriage and their happy little FETUS!!!!! Sorry... :) I'm not bitter I just don't know if I can handle any more marriages and babies (in that order preferrably). Its getting to the point where my girls who I thought would be the last to get married have suddenly found themselves in serious dating relationships. So I don't know if that puts me behind schedule or way ahead of it. I mean I'm happy where I am, and I KNOW I am way to OCD to have a male living with me and leaving the toilet seat up at the moment. I think its just the fact that everyone is expereincing things that I'm not. That is a little frustrating. Then its worse when the engaged girl says "Oh honey, just trust God. He'll bring you your husband." No offense, but that is like a millionare walking past a beggar and saying "Hey keep up the good work"! Its just not that encouraging. I'm totally happy for all of my married friends, I just wish their lives didn't put pressure on me to be where they are?!? Ya know? Would somebody notify the social police that there is nothing wrong with being almost 22 and single with a good house and job no debt and Jesus?!? Wow...random tangent. I wish I didn't sound so bitter...I'm not, I just wish I had been better prepared for this time in my life. But Jesus knows this and he's got me. I Just have to remind myself of that-every day! :)

Scrumtralescent...

2007-06-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

...since this is my blog, I've decided to add an element called "word bash"! Most of you who know me, know that I love words. I like clever words and word games and such...but what I REALLY love is when people use and pronounce words correctly....I HATE when people do not use and pronounce words correctly. I understand that some do it out of ignorance (and I am sorry if I offend you ignorant people) but others do it out of pure laziness...my 2 current frustrations include the words "Alzheimer's" and "supposedly"! PEOPLE...there is NO such disease as OLD TIMERS or ALL TIMERS!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to burst your bubble Dr. Stupid, but it has always been called Alzheimer's. And...maybe I use a dysfunctional dictionary, but the last time I checked there is no "b" in supposedly. There is no such word as "supposably"!!! That felt really good... :) If any of you fellow bloggers think of any other words, please pass them on. And if you see or hear me use a word incorrectly-please let me know! Supposedly people keep these blogs so they can stay in touch with friends, frankly I use it so that years from now I can remember how I felt...in case I develop Alzheimer's :)

I think I am going to explode...

2007-06-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

With excitement! :) My mom and sister are coming in town this weekend for my jewelry party. I haven't seen my mom or Courtney since February so this is long overdue. It is amazing how much easier it is to love your mom from a dsitance lol I mean she is great, but when she turns the vacuum on at 5:45 in the morning because "its better to get chores done early"...but you don't have to be awake until 7:00?? You want to kill someone...namely MOM...and you want to break her accomplice known as the vacuum!!!! But other than that my mom is 4 feet and 11 inches of pure sugar. I love her dearly...my sister is ok! Just kidding! She a smaller version of me, I have to love her! Isn't family the best?

The things I do for you...

2007-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard the story...Stephanie and I hung out on Saturday and went to she and Thad's new house to set up some things. Well Thad, God love him, left us the wrong key. Credit Card...bolt locks! Windows...anti-break-in screens! Chimney...they have no chimney! Drat! So what does Stephanie suggest? Crawling through the doggie- door. She went first and got stuck because her butt is blacker (meaning bigger-not actually black) than mine. So she looks at me like "your turn". She let me stay the night previously so I owed her one. In I crawled, feet first, and I made it through! Its a good thing I haven't had kids yet! :) Sorry I can't get a picture on here. Steph if you've got one, send it to me!

I still won't join myspace!!! :)

2007-06-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

"I'm doin this for you" says Andie as she hands the keys to Michelle and proceeds to leave with Ben-not knowing where they are going....and that is what I say-I'm doin this for you Steph and L. We need a better way to keep up with each other and if this is it, then this is it!