For those of you who haven't had the privilege of discovering "Flight of the Conchords" I'm sorry. If you had, the title of this particular post would mean SO much more :)
So the 3 (Steph, L & Me) of us have been friends for quite some time now and since all 3 of us are/were commited to abstinence until marriage we each want the other to have the best "first" experience possible.
In May of 2006, Steph and I successfully made it out to the condo where Chad and Lauren would be spending their first night together as husband and wife. We decked it out in candles and rose petals. Then we hid in the stairwell waiting for them to arrive and periodically checking to be sure the candles didn't burn anything. Affirmative.
So for Steph and Thad (which I hope you readers are realizing that I will have to marry a Tad or Brad to stay within the friendship, so if you know any ?-ad's...send 'em my way) L and I wanted to make it equally special. The night was going well. The reception was fun, the sparklers had been passed out, and that was our cue to dip out. The plan was to leave, grab Steph's truck from the church, get to their house on the beach, turn it into a magical palace of love and get out before they got home! :) The events after leaving the reception went like this:
7:48-L & Tiff Speed
7:59-L & Tiff Speed pass the church on 231 because the power was out for an entire 2 mile stretch.
8:01-L & Tiff turn around and drive 2 mph to find the church in the dark
8:03-Tiff proceeds to jump Steph's truck (which had already expereiced battery trouble that day)
8:05-Crazy men (who were actually from the church) came and "helped" us...with my car history, I could jump a car with my eyes closed, but we appreciated the effort :)
8:12-Steph's car starts so L leaves the light-less parking lot
8:12:32-Steph's car dies and so Tiff calls L and says "turn around"
8:20-L & TIff leave Steph's truck while franctically speeding to get gas so they can get to the beach so Steph and Thad can have sex in a magical love palace.
8:33-L & Tiff stop at a gas station (in their dresses) because they were underneath "E"
8:42-Steph Calls and says "we're here"
8:43-It doens't happen. Us getting there on time, not the sex. The sex happened.
8:45-L & Tiff decide to go to the house anyway to drop off things that Steph needed from out of her car.
9:01-Awkward
So here is a formal apology:
Steph, we're sorry about your car, and sorry that you didn't have a magical love palace, but were are excited that you MADE magical love :)
And Here is a formal warning:
In the case that you and Lauren don't make it on time to decorate wherever I will be having sex for the first time...really, its ok. Don't worry about it. Do not knock. Do not pass go. Do Not collect 200 dollars. Just go home. :)
