For every piece of me that wants you...

...another piece backs away. Its a James Morrison song. I would like to address choices. I've come to realize that when people say "life is all about choices" its true. Whether you choose to believe it or not. :) Yes there is a God with a perfect, eternal plan. There is also a Devil who wants nothing more than to sabotage that plan. But there are 2 other elements we often overlook (sometimes intentionally). There is life and there is us. God says "witness to your friend". The devil says "leave her alone she'll think you're a Jesus Freak". Life says "You're going to see her at school or work every day for the next year". You say "She gets on my nerves".

So many times I get caught up in the different "voices" or opinions I hear. And get frustrated over the fact that they exist...but that doesn't change the fact that they do. So once again I am left with a choice. This brings us to a very important question "why do I choose what I choose?" Is it based on my opinion? On my wisdom? On the truth of the "voice"? Although those are all factors, my choices should be based on my love and commitment to the one who gave me the means to have a choice in the first place. My opinion is fallible (although I don't always think so). My wisdom is lacking and tainted by my determination to do what I want to do. And there is the reality that all 4 influences may hold truth. I need to witness to her. She may think I'm a Jesus freak. I will see her on a regular basis and she gets on my nerves. As a Christian I choose to make Jesus' priorities my priorities. When I accepted Him I died to myself and rejected the Devil so that knocks out 2 voices leaving God and Life. Accepting the fact that All things (including life) were created by Him and for His purposes, God trumps life!

This doesn't necessarily make choosing easier, but it makes the Godly choice clearer. So my advice (in my infinite wisdom lol) is to accept the fact that you will be torn in two. You will mess up. You will make wrong choices. You will have conflicting voices, feelings and opinions. But those are perfect moments to acknowledge and accept God's grace and wisdom. He will give it.

I wish I were still there

Here are some pics from my trip...

Taylor (my musical partner in crime) & Lisan (Our adopted Jamaican child). Things move quickly in their country :)

This is a shot of the North Coast of the Island from Ocho Rios...so beautiful! :)

We ran a week long camp and these girls sat at my dinner table the first night!

The most awesome group...group 4-after our tug-of-war victory during sports day!!

Ja-makin-me-crazy

There will soon be pictures...but for now all I have are stories.
This past week has been one of the most amazing experiences ever. For those of you who don't know, I went to Jamaica for 9 days on a mission trip and I wish I could have stayed longer. We stayed in a small area called Constant Springs its right outside of Kingston. The mission runs a summer camp for kids that live in more rural areas. This year we worked with kids 12 and under. They were awesome. I got to lead praise and worship and they all had so much energy. I loved every minute of it. I know that I want to be used by God like that for the rest of my life. We had about 12 out of the 35 kids commit their lives to Christ and 5 were baptized. You have to have your parents permission to be baptized fyi. I didn't want to leave... hopefully I'll have pics on here by tomorrow, but I just wanted to let you all know where I've been. :)

Rainy Days & Mondays...

...It isn't raining, but it is Monday. And one of 2 isn't half bad :) I just feel like I've been awfully negative in my blogs lately...but I'm happy to report that this weekend was refreshing for me. I have been visiting a new church and it has been wonderful...God always looks out for us. The funniest thing is that I'm like one of 5 black people in the whole congregation so all of the older people go out of their way to welcome me...so funny. One guy said "we are so glad you came, we just want you to feel comfortable and know that there are all kinds of people here..."
"whew! good to know, because I have samepeoplephobia" He meant well! But seriously it has been a great experience.
Other than that things have been wonderful. No complaints. I'm about to eat some cheesecake and that is always good.

Word Bash-Part Deux :)

Oh my friends....living up here in Chipley gives me so much material for this section. There are two words I will be adressing today: Across and Ask. I know these don't seem like words that would challenge the average American, but lets look at the first one shall we...across. PLEASE someone tell me where I can find the word "acrossed" or "acrost" in the dictionary? For those of you who are about to google it, let me save you some trouble-its not a word.
And to all of my peoples livin up in da ghetto...please to not "aks" or "ax" for anything because that is impossible and ridiculous. The three letter word is ASK. I truly hope no one who reads this is offended. I wouldn't want you to throw an aks acrost my head :)

What goes around...

OK so who gets to coordinate a wedding for her X-boyfriend's cousin? I do! Pick me. You know I am seriously thinking about submitting my diary to Steven Speilberg as a potential movie script. My life is insanely ironic. Steph suggested that I name my first child "Irony" or "Ironi"! I don't know, maybe a middle name. :) He (the X) is now married and his wife is pregnant. I'm happy for him and sympathetic for her...! No thats not nice...I'm sure they are happy together in their happy little house in their happy little neighborhood with their happy little marriage and their happy little FETUS!!!!! Sorry... :) I'm not bitter I just don't know if I can handle any more marriages and babies (in that order preferrably). Its getting to the point where my girls who I thought would be the last to get married have suddenly found themselves in serious dating relationships. So I don't know if that puts me behind schedule or way ahead of it. I mean I'm happy where I am, and I KNOW I am way to OCD to have a male living with me and leaving the toilet seat up at the moment. I think its just the fact that everyone is expereincing things that I'm not. That is a little frustrating. Then its worse when the engaged girl says "Oh honey, just trust God. He'll bring you your husband." No offense, but that is like a millionare walking past a beggar and saying "Hey keep up the good work"! Its just not that encouraging. I'm totally happy for all of my married friends, I just wish their lives didn't put pressure on me to be where they are?!? Ya know? Would somebody notify the social police that there is nothing wrong with being almost 22 and single with a good house and job no debt and Jesus?!? Wow...random tangent. I wish I didn't sound so bitter...I'm not, I just wish I had been better prepared for this time in my life. But Jesus knows this and he's got me. I Just have to remind myself of that-every day! :)

Scrumtralescent...

...since this is my blog, I've decided to add an element called "word bash"! Most of you who know me, know that I love words. I like clever words and word games and such...but what I REALLY love is when people use and pronounce words correctly....I HATE when people do not use and pronounce words correctly. I understand that some do it out of ignorance (and I am sorry if I offend you ignorant people) but others do it out of pure laziness...my 2 current frustrations include the words "Alzheimer's" and "supposedly"! PEOPLE...there is NO such disease as OLD TIMERS or ALL TIMERS!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to burst your bubble Dr. Stupid, but it has always been called Alzheimer's. And...maybe I use a dysfunctional dictionary, but the last time I checked there is no "b" in supposedly. There is no such word as "supposably"!!! That felt really good... :) If any of you fellow bloggers think of any other words, please pass them on. And if you see or hear me use a word incorrectly-please let me know! Supposedly people keep these blogs so they can stay in touch with friends, frankly I use it so that years from now I can remember how I felt...in case I develop Alzheimer's :)